My praise puts an expiration date on my troubles! Today is eviction day and I'm serving the enemy notice
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Silence is never a weakness it's quite the opposite. It's the weapon of the strongest. I'm reminded of one of my pastors famous quotes.."Silence can never be misquoted" what wisdom and power is in those words. It's one of many I have stored in my war chest.....
No matter what situation you are facing right now no matter how hard the devil keeps trying to make you doubt God's promises to you, you remind that devil IT IS WRITTEN! Get the word deep in you so that you can speak it out. It's time to let out a victorious ROAR!!!
God has made me the person I am today. I never claim to be perfect or to know everything, but everyday I try to grow as a person in God. And it's so good to know that despite all my imperfections, every time I’ve failed him, hurt him, or get myself in a pickle I can’t get out of my Savior looks down at my messy hair, messy heart, messy life and says “daughter you’re beautiful and I love you.” Then this song started plays in my mind:
We are His portion and He is our prize Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss And my heart turns violently inside of my chest I don't have time to maintain these regrets When I think about, the way... He loves us Oh, how He loves us Oh, how He loves us Oh, how He loves oh Today maybe you need to be reminded just how much HE loves you... Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Yesterday, actually the past few weeks in general, have been somewhat difficult for me. It all started last week with Carston falling at school. This fall was his third since he has been there. So, the school put him out for a few days so they could collectively come up with a safety plan. This would mean more unscheduled/approved time off for me at work and fear set in. How much longer will my employer continue to work with me? To be quite honest my dependability hasn’t been at the level I would like due to several unforeseen issues with Carston since I started in November. After hitting his head and vomiting continued a trip to the ER was necessary. We discovered that he had a stomach virus. But it didn’t stop at one, he had two episodes back-to-back. The last one ended with 2 bags of fluids being administered and Zofran because he became extremely dehydrated. Finally, as of this Friday he finally got an appetite back. I returned to the office on Wednesday. This is the day I was told that in the next few weeks I would be transitioning into a new role as a marketing representative. I would need to help find my replacement. This once again caused some fear and anxiety. Instead of being excited because it was back in a role I knew and loved I began to think in the back of my mind, is this some way they were planning on getting rid of me. I think this partially stemmed from years of being in management where I would have to sit back and watch it happen to others and not be able to warn those that were in the firing line. Was it fixing to happen to me, and no one was telling me or able to warn me? Trust me it is not a fun place to be. That brings me to Yesterday, Monday, March 21st. Everything just seemed to hit me all at once. I left work to go pick up Carston and I was just full of every emotion you could think of. There are answers to questions that I am needing that I can’t get, I am struggling with trust, and I am just honestly worn out. So, when I came home, I told Brian that I wanted to go for a walk. At first, he wanted to go with me but then he realized that maybe I just needed some time alone with God, my thoughts, and my worship music. So, he offered to keep Carston and let me have that “God” time. I took a walk up to the horse farm that is about a mile or so from our home. As I stood outside the gate the horses began to walk up to me one by one. I stood very still as I didn’t want to scare them off. There was one horse that came up and allowed me to pet him. He would walk away from me but as I moved up the fence a little bit he would come back again. He was so beautiful and tall. As I watched them all in the pasture I began to think of the horses and watch how the gracefully moved about. When they would run off, I paid very close attention to their endurance. It was very captivating. Then I began to think, why am I all the sudden drawn to the horse? This afternoon after a few visits at CHOA and looking back at some of the things that were discussed about Carston’s further treatment plan I felt prompted to investigate the symbolism of a horse. Here is what I discovered. A horse is a symbol of courage, integrity, perseverance, power, independence, freedom, nobleness, endurance, confidence, triumph, heroism, and competition. To some of you this may not mean much but to me it meant everything. I believe with all my heart God allowed me to be drawn to the horse to remind me of some of its attributes I either lack or possess and although I find myself in a struggle right now emotionally and have so many unanswered questions about my new endeavor, I know all I need to do is fully surrender these feelings to my heavenly Father. He in exchange will allow the ones I possess to flourish in Him such as ENDURANCE, COURAGE, AND CONFIDENCE. In closing, this journey called life does get tough and we all battle hard sometimes in silence. However just as the scripture says as I quoted above, Hebrews12:1, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin (or frustrations} that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us (WITH POWER, ENDURANCE, NOBLENESS, CONFIDENCE, A TRIUMPH SPIRIT). Whether it’s a walk, the trot, the canter, a gallop, a run, take on the spirit of the horse and finish strong. Much Love, Laura Are you stuck in a rut in life?
Psalm 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walk along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Stuck- unable to move from a particular position or place, or unable to change a situation Yesterday morning as my husband was getting the truck ready for his workday I heard a commotion outside. I immediately grabbed my towel and ran to the back door to see what was going on. That is where in the darkness of the morning I discovered my husband’s truck was stuck in the mud. I ran downstairs to see what I could do to help him out knowing in the back of mind I probably wouldn’t be of much help. Not only that but thinking oh Lord what's my yard going to look like.. He was trying his best to get unstuck but tires were spinning, mud slingin’, and the ground working against him, finally he drops it in to 4 wheel drive and out he comes. How in the world did this happen? Well I will fill you in. At the time of this writing, for the past several days the truck had not moved because Brian was sick with Covid and his body needed to rest and recover. With the cold rain and weather conditions we had the tires, being in the same spot, dug into the ground from the weight of trailer. Doesn’t that kinda sound like what happens in our life’s sometimes? We get in the same spots, doing the same thing, going through the same cycles, and because we refuse to move we start sinking almost like we are in quicksand. We become stuck and sink from the weight that we are carrying. As I began to think on that morning’s event even more I once again felt that tug to share this experience to encourage someone who may be reading this and you find yourself “stuck in the rut”. Trust me when I say that I understand completely and I am there with you even now. Looking back over the past 2 months between November-January I have on multiple occasions found myself in a rut. I have never went almost a year without serving in some capacity in church but in 2021 I found myself withdrawing and taking a break from serving because I honestly felt in a rut. A rut of frustration, inadequacy, complacency, aggravation you name it I was feeling it! It’s hard to know what your passion is and what brings your heart joy but there are things that hold you back from completely walking in that passion and working through it definitely isn’t easy. I have been in a rut from feeling like a failure because I did not pass an exam that I so desperately needed to do so even after tirelessly studying and doing my part. In a rut feeling like a failure as a wife/mom/daughter/friend because I wasn’t able to give of myself like I desire because I was and still am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted from watching Carston go through his first seizure in almost 3 years, Covid, Colds, strep all back to back and watching my husband being sicker than he has ever been and trying my best to not get sick but hold it all together. Trying to carry the weight but not sink into the rut because I didn’t want to make a move ask for help and appear weak. But I have encouragement to share, the rut has not sunk me and it will not sink you! Today let’s choose to MOVE! Instead of allowing the wheels of life to sink into the ground, Choose this day to plant our feet, straighten our backs like a T-Rail, and put our spirit man in 4 wheel drive to move out from under the weight of life that is trying to push us down. Command that sickness/disease have to leave our homes, our bodies, our spouse’s body, our children’s body. Speak to barren wombs and command that life come in the name of Jesus. Speak to that child that is away from God and declare that they are mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, healed! Whole! And well! Command that every demonic force that is working against you and your family silences and backs off your territory in Jesus name. Command that your gifts, talents, and abilities come into alignment with the word of God that he has been spoken over you and that the very thing you have sat down on will once again LIVE! Command that those mountains that are in your way MOVE! Command that the tormenting thoughts that are keeping you awake at night bow to the name of Jesus and that rest and assurance come in...You will not go under in this season child of God but you are going to come out and over stronger than ever before! I hope that this encourages someone today and helps you get your fight back! Much love, Laura Even though…….God says…I am
Psalms 16: 5-8 You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are! I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me. I am always aware of the Lord's presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me. September 1, 2021, I embarked on a 21-day fast to prepare for Women of Fire. A life-changing and empowering conference that would be held at my old home church in Chattanooga, TN. This was an event that I had looked forward to for many months, the theme, TSUNAMI. My former women’s Pastor Deven called all the ladies that would be in attendance to fast to prepare for what God was going to do and I immediately felt a check in my spirit that this was for me. The first couple of days of the fast was easy for me and I thought this will be good but that didn’t last very long. Three days in here came the distractions/opposition/warfare (should have expected it right). Anytime you set aside time to spend with God, get in the word/His Presence, it will not be easy because you just made the enemy mad! During the fast several things happened. I had made a very difficult decision to step away from a part-time job that I felt that God had opened the door for me. The position looked very promising however once I got in there things changed drastically and just did not line up with what I thought/believed it would be. The role was a lot more complex than I could grasp hold of, the demands that were placed on me were not anything I could complete in the hours that I was available, at one point it became so toxic that it was discussed with me that it was the owners way of doing things or the highway. It was just not a healthy environment for me to continue to be in. Monday, before I was to leave for Chattanooga, Brian hurt his back while working. He was in pain and could barely walk. I knew that my first responsibility was to take care of him and be here for him. At one point I thought I would just cancel my trip and stay home but he kept telling me he would be ok and for me to continue with my plans but in the back of my mind I still questioned whether I should go or not. EVEN THOUGH…GODS SAYS..I AM…He was Brian’s healer and I needed to trust HIM in that. Wednesday, here came another distraction. Carston was at school and fell out of a chair and hit the floor head first. He had a significant bruise and imprint from the toy he hit. Again, I was faced to decide whether I go to the conference or not. I watched him Wednesday night into the early part of Thursday and since he seemed to be fine, I went on with my plans. EVEN THOUGH..GODS SAYS..I AM..This injury could have been more severe than it was and I had to trust that God was Carston’s protector..I needed to trust HIM that he would be ok. Thursday, Conference Day! The day had finally came and after several hours of trying to leave for the conference at 1:30pm I was able to hit the road. My spirit was so excited and I could not wait to get to the conference. The traffic was light, The sun was out, and I was energized. I messaged the girls that were attending with me and encouraged them that every distraction that they had faced the week leading up to the conference was cancelled. That this day was the day of the turnaround. Little did I know that my world was fixing to be rocked in a not so good way. Thursday night at 10pm Carston became very ill. He was projectile vomiting and I could not get him consoled. Here I found myself in Chattanooga with a sick baby. No Brian, No CHOA, no ER close by that I could trust to get him to. At this very critical moment all I had in me to rely on was God and my faith in him. Carston was getting worse and neither one of us could sleep. As I sat on the toilet in the bathroom crying and holding my baby I cried out to God to help us. In that moment I felt him ever so close. He said Laura right now EVEN THOUGH..I AM… I am your comforter, I am your peace, I am your God. There was something that came over me that pushed me into warrior mode. Friday morning arrived and I made the decision that I had to trust God and get Carston back to Atlanta. I had to trust the I AM. I came back to Georgia and Carston was admitted and had emergency surgery. He is doing well and thriving as he always does. God showed He was the I AM even though the situation looked hopeless to me. Upon returning home I began to seek God more and question whether my fast was complete He answered and I felt the prompting that it was not. There was still work to be done. I continued and little did I know that I was once again going to be faced with a decision that I would need clarity of mind on. For 2 weeks, I have been interviewing for a position that I was not qualified for. It was a position that was close to home, would be perfect hours, and the pay was very promising. I was asking God that if this was where he was placing me then to make it happen. I had other positions that I had interviewed for and they were immediate closed doors. This one just kept going. Finally, I received a verbal offer and was scheduled to start on Monday. Little did I know what was coming. I was once again going to be faced with trusting God that EVEN THOUGH…I AM. Thursday evening I received the official offer letter. Reading the fine print everything was exactly what I need I was so excited then here came the bold print…CONDITIONS OF EMPLOYMENT: WITHOUT PROOF OF VACCINATION THIS JOB OFFER WILL BE WITHDRAWN. Immediately I broke into tears. I know that not everyone will agree with me on the decision not to vaccinate and you are entitled to your own opinion. However I knew that this was something that Brian and I had made a personal/spiritual decision for our household together and there was no room for negotiation. I never imagined that our decision would affect a job opportunity. Never once did I think that my freedom to decide what was best for my family would ever be challenged to this level and because I exercised that freedom have something taken away from me. Almost appears as blackmail/manipulation. If you don’t do this you won’t have that. At first, I was angry, frustrated, mad, etc then once again here came that soft comforting voice, Laura EVEN THOUGH this opportunity did not work out the way you thought, I AM..I am your Jireh! I am your provider! In closing, I know this is lengthy but I share all of these experiences to hopefully remind someone today reading this that today in the midst of so much uncertainty you can trust that EVEN THOUGH..GOD IS…I AM. EVEN THOUGH the job that you thought was the perfect opportunity falls through.. THE I AM is all you need. EVEN THOUGH the doctors give a report that is not what you thought..THE I AM IS ALL YOU NEED…. EVEN THOUGH may always look hopeless and void but that is when THE I AM will still be all you need. If you find yourself in the midst of an EVEN THOUGH moment today, can I challenge you to start a fast for yourself. I can testify that had I not been fasting these past 21 days I don’t know that I would have been able to handle the events with the grit and tenacity that I have. I am thankful for the intimate times that I have been able to spend with my heavenly father and the things that HE has done for me. I have felt HIS presence so strongly and the more I seek Him the More I am finding Him to be ever more faithful to me. Much Love, Laura It’s Not Wasted Time
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (NIV Waste: (eliminated or discarded as no longer useful or required after the completion of a process) Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days that I got wrapped up in my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, all of it! To start the day off I had to make a trip to the imaging center to have my yearly mammogram. This is only my second year having it done and I will admit I get serious anxiety a few days before and after. Not so much for the procedure itself but waiting for the results. I guess it is because I think of friends, family, and others that have gotten that dreaded call after having one done and in the back of my mind I try to think, how would I respond if I got that call??? I hoped that since I had my screening done early that morning that by chance, they would read it by end of day but unfortunately that did not happen so into the weekend I go with that somewhat on my mind, but the visit was not “wasted” continue reading to find out more of why. The second doctor’s appointment of the day was an eye appointment for my son with one of the top neuro-ophthalmologist in Atlanta. This visit would take about 4 hours and at the conclusion of the visit we hoped to have more answers regarding the reason behind my son’s vision issues and if anything, else could be affecting his walking. We had been waiting over 6 months or more to get in with this specific doctor. I left his office frustrated, mad, angry, etc. On my way home I was driving and all in my flesh, I thought, “Man this was just a wasted trip” I could have saved myself about 5 hours out the day and not hear the same things we have been told by our pediatric ophthalmologist for the past 3 years. I got home around 5pm and honestly was mentally and physically exhausted from the day. I text with someone close to our family and let them know the update on Carston. I let them know that I know I am supposed to be ok but that I was not. I was struggling with the findings. Their powerful words of wisdom back to me were that it is okay to not be ok. That I do not need to feel like I must keep it all together for the sake of those around me. Brian agreed and tried his best to put me in the positive mindset but at that moment all I could think of was “wasted time” and still no answers. During the remainder of the course of the evening and into the early morning that is when the holy spirit in his soft gentle way reminded me, “Laura, Daughter, nothing you have been through is wasted”. I am going to use yours and Carston’s story to reach so many, do you trust me? He began to remind me of the two occasions during my day that he used specific parts of my journey with Carston to be able to touch two precious moms. I had an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and share with these moms parts of my story and at the end pray with both. I will be the first to tell you I admire prayer warriors. You know, those who seemingly can touch the very throne room of God and send the devil running with his tail tucked between his legs and black-eyed. I have never seen myself as one of those. I tried serving on prayer teams but did not feel my prayers were effective, so I stepped aside. But who can agree that you do not have to be qualified God will call you no matter what you think of yourself? If you are willing to be a vessel, He will use you when you least expect it you just must pay attention and listen. (Another blog for another day) Back to my thoughts. You see both these moms did not need a sermon they just needed a touch. An expression of compassion, love, and understanding, mostly a touch from Him, but it had to come through an avenue of someone sharing from a place that could relate to them, and He knew just what part to use and who to use in that moment. Both these moms’ babies are suffering from brain related issues/seizures. One suffered a traumatic brain injury at the hands of an abuser, the other is 10 months old and has been having seizures, feeds from a feeding tube, has vision issues etc. The mom of the 10-month-old has gone to every doctor trying to get a diagnosis so that a treatment plan could come forward. When I first saw her my heart sank. She was sitting by herself with the feeding pump on her stroller and I could tell she was desperate. She reminded me so much of me and I could not just sit there. In both situations, with the prompting of the spirit, I only knew of one thing they needed, the Master Healer to visit their babies. To visit them. I stood there praying and saying the only name I knew to stand on and that was Jesus. God showed me quickly that the day I thought was wasted in fact was not wasted at all. Had I not been through what I have been through with Carston, Had I not had the mammogram visit, Had I not had the eye doctor visit after 6 months or more of trying, I would have not been able to be at the divinely appointed moment to meet these two moms. Our paths would have probably never crossed. I would have never had a chance to meet and hear the story of two warriors that God has big plans for and be able to pray for them and their healing daily. I would have never been able to extend my reach outside the four walls of the church and be something for someone that so many have been for me. BUT GOD! Today is a new day. I am choosing to look at this journey past, present, and future experiences as an opportunity to not let anything go wasted, not one single moment, not one single doctor’s visit. If anything was shown to me yesterday is that God wants to use our wounds as weapons. Weapons that will bring light, honor, and glory to God, His plans, and His purpose for us. 😊 Much Love- Laura God Is In Your There Moments!
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:29-31 NIV) God is in your there moments of life. A nugget as I like to call them that has been dropped into my spirit more than once over the weekend. I contemplated sharing or writing about this past week’s experience for various reasons. One of the reasons is because I was ashamed that one of the events happened and carried guilt with me. The second is because the delivery of the news hit my momma heart hard. They both did. Mostly the reason I did not share anything on social media is because the enemy himself had me in my head convincing me that people are tired of hearing about my struggles and this journey with Carston. The enemy went as far to remind me of a conversation I had with someone I once looked up telling me that they no longer pray for Carston and I because they believe his healing is a finished work. This is something that I have not shared with anyone, not even Brian or my family, and have carried it silently for quite some time so when things happen it is the first thought that comes to the forefront. However, after a very intimate conversation yesterday with someone at church who is close to me and whom I confide/trust in I felt like it was ok to share. Last week was an awful week for Brian and I. One of those weeks that I felt at times like putting my head under a pillow and not waking up until it was over. I literally felt like hell had launched an attack against me. Not only me but against my entire home and it was fierce. Starting on Monday I had to call 911 for Carston due to his indigestion of peanut butter and a protein shake mix that contains either eggs/egg product. His initial reaction was a rash appearing around his mouth which then went into full blown blister looking spots around his mouth, nose, and eyes. He then began showing signs of difficulty breathing and lips swelling so I immediately called his pediatrician who led me through the steps to administer his EpiPen and once that was completed, I had to call 911. The ambulance arrived and stabilized Carston to where I could transport him to CHOA myself. After 2 hours of monitoring, they determined that Carston had suffered Anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis is a severe, potentially life-threatening allergic reaction. It can occur within seconds or minutes of exposure to something you are allergic to, such as peanuts or bee stings. Anaphylaxis causes your immune system to release a flood of chemicals that can cause you to go into shock — your blood pressure drops suddenly, and your airways narrow, blocking breathing. Signs and symptoms include a rapid, weak pulse; a skin rash; and nausea and vomiting. Common triggers include certain foods, some medications, insect venom and latex. Anaphylaxis requires an injection of epinephrine and a follow-up trip to an emergency room. If you do not have epinephrine, you need to go to an emergency room immediately. If anaphylaxis is not treated right away, it can be fatal. Following this event Monday, on Thursday, Carston was evaluated at Children’s/Marcus Autism Center to see if some of the symptoms he has been showing were signs of Autism or just typical toddler behavior. It was determined after several hours of intense evaluation that Carston does have Autism and is being referred to have either in-home therapy or inside a facility. These therapies will be on top of the hours that he will receive early intervention through the school system next week. Then here came Friday! Friday morning Carston woke up screaming to the top of his lungs curled up in a fetal position. I went in there and tried to calm him but his cry just got even more intense. I picked him up, tried consoling him, and there was no response . I thought maybe he was hungry and needed food. Tried feeding him, did not work. He kept balling over in his chair and crying like he was in pain. I then tried changing his diaper and once again he pulled his knees up and would not let me touch his stomach at all. I became very concerned as this had at this point went on for almost an hour and I felt that something was not right. So I called his pediatrician and she got him in. Upon her initial assessment she was ready to send him immediately to the ER. After us talking through the events of the morning and the past week we decided to give him a dose of Motrin and see if we could get him calm. After about 30 minutes he calmed enough to where she could check him over again. During this time Carston had a BM which she believed was causing the issue. She was still considering sending him to the ER to be checked but was willing to let me bring him home and let him rest to see how he did during the afternoon. All these events came atop Brian having a procedure done and suffering some minor issues afterwards and me worrying about him and hoping that it was not complications from the procedures. In these moments curled up on my couch with tears running down my face, the feeling of going through all this mentally by myself because I didn’t want anyone to have pity on me, feeling once again like I failed Carston somehow because I should have done more the day he was born to keep from all this happening, God reminded me “Laura I am in the midst of your there moment.” He dropped the nugget I shared on April 1st, Stop allowing people: Doctors, therapists, family, friends, etc to put a stamp where God puts a sticker. Don't make sense to you? Think of it like this, a stamp is permanent, a sticker is temporary meaning that the situation is subject to change! He began to speak to my broken heart. The broken place that out of pride and anger I was going to refuse to let anyone into this place, this there moment. He began to gently whisper how much He loves me. How although I still do not understand why all this has happened that He has a divine plan if I will just trust him. He has a purpose in the pain. He began to show me how much he has truly been in my ‘there moments’ these past 3 years. Why I am still in the “waiting” period to see all He wants to accomplish. You see, Timing in our season is important. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says that there is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. What we must grasp ahold of in our “there” moments is that the secret to peace with God is to discover, accept, and appreciate God’s perfect timing. The danger is to doubt or resent God’s timing. This will lead to despair, rebellion, or moving ahead without his advice. I can look over this past week and truly see where I once again forgot to accept/appreciate not only what God is doing right now even though the process is hard. I took my eyes off Him. In closing, although yes, the work is completed in the spirit realm, and I am just waiting on the manifestation in the natural does not mean I am through the process. I am still going to have my “there moments” when I most of all need God to walk beside me. I desire and truly embrace the prayers, love, and support of those who are in this with us and if you do not want to be a part of the remainder of this process and our story, I understand, I release you, and wish you the absolute best in life. With that said, what is your “there” moment that you are currently walking through? Turn to HIM today and let him be all that you need. He even says: “Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 Much Love- Laura 2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.
Over the past year I have been on a weight loss journey to getting healthier, 50 pounds was the first goal I set for myself and was not sure if it was obtainable. Prior to beginning the journey to get healthy I would eat anything; I am not just talking about small amounts I am talking about divulging until it would make me sick. Breads, Pastas, Cokes, Sweet Teas, Cakes, Cookies, etc. One of my worst temptations other than pizza was a whopper from Burger King. I craved 100% flame grilled beef, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, pickle, ketchup, onions on a sesame bun with a good ole slice of American Cheese on top taste.. Mouthwatering yet??? Yeap I thought so. Well save yourself from going until you at least finish reading this as I am going somewhere, I promise and to your stomach is right but not your physical stomach I am going for the spiritual one. Recently I was running to the post office for my husband Brian. Since he owns a business it is a daily trip for Carston and I and one that we enjoy. This particular morning, I had waited just a little later to go because Brian was expecting a package, so I gave it till around lunch time. So, I go get the mail and head back home. While approaching the red light I start to get a huge whiff of a scent that I recognized…It was a strong scent and boy was my tummy starting to growl. I get to red light and come to a stop. I look up and at the corner of the red light was you guessed it. Burger King. Immediately I had to tell the enemy to back up and take a seat because I was not about to give into that temptation no matter how much I wanted it at that moment, the effects afterward are never good. My body just does not do good anymore with those types of food. I learned this even at Wild Ones conference. Thankfully, the line was long, and I kept going but it was tempting the drawing was super strong, but I pushed and resisted. Do not judge me for struggling lol maybe it is not Burger King that tempts you but how about that boy/girl that you continue to see that you know you are not supposed to be with, but you miss them oh so much, they look so good, or that bottle, that cigarette, that drug. Moving along I just felt a little sass coming on. When I got home, I began to think about that little road trip, scent, and relate it to the spirit. The definition of a scent is: a distinctive smell, especially one that is pleasant. Let us talk about some scents other than food. You ever been to an old church and walked in only to be greeted with a scent of something almost dead or musty? How about a locker room? It smells sweaty, damp, etc. Not a smell I want to smell every day. How about a flower shop? Where the mixture of all the flowers combined can overtake you but they smell so good, so fresh! How about a church where the holy spirit has just saturated the atmosphere?? The scent is intoxicating. It is a sweet aroma. One that I cannot explain except by saying it draws you in the where you want to do nothing but sit in HIS presence. There is a peace, a calmness, a fulfilling, a scent that draws, I believe is the scent of Heaven when was the last time you caught of wiff of that scent?? Referencing back to 2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are a fragrance of Christ among those who are saved and among those who are perishing. Today I want to encourage you to find yourself caught up in the scent of Heaven no matter where you are so that you can effectively be a fragrance of Christ to those around you. Yes, those that are saved but also those who are perishing. The end of time is drawing near folks, division, hate, etc is all around and people are looking for answers. They are looking for Hope. Be the one who points them to HIM. Be heaven scent.. I sure hope this helps someone today…. "In the last days it shall be,' says God, 'that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh;
your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams" (Acts 2:17). Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave (Maverick City Music- I Thank God) The lyrics above have been on repeat not only on my Alexa but in my spirit! I love worship music and I am surprised that I have NEVER heard this song until this weekend but I know in my heart that it doesn’t take God by surprise because I believe it was relevant to me in many ways and the timing for me to hear it was PERFECT! How many of us can admit that there are dead things in our lives??? Dead Things? I hear you “Laura, there are a lot of dead things in my life that I hope stay dead” and yes, I agree with you but I am not talking about those things, I am talking about those things that should not be dead…You know those dreams and visions that you once had of maybe of possibly starting your own business. That gift/calling that you have but for some reason you sat down on it. Oh yeah, got you thinking didn’t I and yes that which just came to your mind is exactly what I am talking about.. Maybe you are having a difficulty finding just what that “thing” is so let me once again use my life for example as God tends to use my shortcomings and sometimes rebellious ways to help others find victory. This past weekend I found myself back at my old home church of 9 years. It you read my previous blog post it will share some of the difficulties that I found as I ventured to a youth conference there and how God showed me so much. What I did not share is what I am about to indulge in today. A dead thing that I had sat down on myself. Since I was 18 years old, I have been a part of a Church of God/Non-Denominational church. I was raised Baptist up until that age and after experiencing more of God during Joe Sneed Camp meeting days I was not satisfied spiritually. Nothing wrong with their teaching but I knew I needed to find what worked for me and would help me grow me more in God and this is where I found my fit. When I first began, I was absolutely full of the spirit and the freedom that came with it. You would find me unfiltered in my praise. Whether it be letting out a shout, running an aisle, my shoes off flying off (there is a story behind this one), or dancing in the altars I was unashamed because God was so good to me. However, over the years as I have gotten older, I could feel myself allowing this heaviness to come on where I was afraid to praise as I once did. It was as if I worried about what others were going to say about me or judge my praise. I would sit and watch others and feel something tugging in my heart telling me it was time to let my praise/dance out, or sit there and watch others and think “man what it would feel like to be free like that once again” but again the heaviness would come and the enemies voice say you know you don’t need to do all that and I would just sit there. I just sat there and let something special I was feeling, Die. BUT GOD! Back to this weekend and dead things living again. My dead thing was my praise/worship as I just shared. During the song Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave Get up, get up, get up Get up outta that grave, I started feeling something that I had not felt in a very long time! Some may say it was the environment, but I know better. Yes, the environment was supercharged with freedom and others worshipping uninhibited, but that wasn’t it. It was so much more. I began to move just a little, I began to jump a little higher, and then there it was…MY DANCE had returned!!!!! I had a praise and I began to let it out!!!! I got up out of that grave of fear, reservation, and intimidation and I LET IT OUT!! Sunday when our youth group returned to our home church, I knew that God had given me a responsibility to carry after we left the conference that responsibility was to make sure that I did not let the young people lose what they had experienced this weekend. That fire, that praise, that dance, that joy. I could not let them fall into the same grave that I did. When the praise and worship set began, I was on camera and boy was that difficult. Not because I did not want to serve but because my feet would not stop moving… I watched as the young people pushed and worshipped God and he said “you know what I need you to do” I told the switcher I got to go and I’ll be back. I went and joined them briefly, I began to dance once again and at one point we were all taken a run! Did I care what others thought? Nope. Did I wait for the environment to be just right, Nope, I knew that I no longer based my praise on flesh feeling but my spiritual feeling and God deserved it all! God knew what He was doing this weekend and HE knew just the environment to utilize and I am so grateful. I say all and share all that I did to conclude with this. My question once again, what is that DEAD thing in your life that needs to LIVE again? Is it your praise? Is it your call to preach? Is it your call to serve your churches youth staff and help the next generation become kingdom warriors and keep the devil off their front porch? Is it your call to be a worship leader? Is it your gift to sing and be part of a worship team/choir? Is it your gift to serve as an intercessor on the prayer team? Is it that business that you should start that will fund kingdom business? Is it to be a missionary? I challenge you today to dig deep and find out! Don’t let that thing stay dead. The kingdom is relying on that dead thing to come alive! GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP OUTTA THAT GRAVE! We have kingdom work to do. Psalm 119:105 says “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (KJV)
Have you ever stopped and paid attention to someone’s shoes??? Looked at them and either admired the brand, the heel height, the color, or better yet let’s say maybe judging the condition? I know I have! Most of the time it is admiring the ones that are 6-inch red bottom stilettos that are sparkling with premium patent Italian leather. They are beautiful but ohhhhh the pain that my feet feel just by looking at them. Maybe you are not admiring the stiletto, maybe you are checking out those perfectly white freshly boxed Nike or Adidas running shoes that just got released and you know you just have to have a pair! These scenarios paint a pretty picture but I want to go deeper. Although admiring shoes is fun, have you ever really paid attention to the shoes closer and wondered what type of journey the person that is wearing them may be on? This weekend I had an opportunity to serve our Fivestones youth group with the best youth pastors on the planet at Wild Ones 2021 youth conference in Chattanooga, TN. For many this was going to simply be an amazing conference to attend and hear some awesome preachers/worship leaders but for me it was not only that but a journey back to a place where I had experienced several different emotions/times over the years. Some of those were happy, some were very difficult. I wasn’t really sure what to expect walking back in the doors 7 years later but before I went, I prayed and ask God to be with me and give me peace because truthfully there was some parts of me that was a little nervous and anxiety was rearing its ugly head even on the car ride there. Why? Because not many know that in 2014 when Brian and I first got together this was where our journey started. We met in the midst of a 90-day revival called Times of Refreshing. Brian was walking through some very difficult and challenging times and there was those who did not know if I was doing the right thing by walking beside him and chose not to be very supportive of me. I had gone through a very public breakup 2 years prior where we both attended this church and there were some who were torn between who to support and eventually turned their back on me. In 2016, God moved me from the church and all I knew and loved to Marietta GA without even truly being able to give the proper goodbye to those I was closest to it all happened within a 3-day time span. As I entered the doors I was absolutely overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and reception not only I but Brian and Carston received. Those who ran up and jumped on me as we embraced, those who gave me the biggest hugs I haven’t felt in years, those who giggled with me like we never missed a beat, you made my journey back home so worth it all but God didn’t stop there, He began to do so much more. During the course of the next 2 days, I watched as 1000’s of young people journeyed from all around gather to worship and grow in the ways of God. Some had tennis shoes on, some had cowboy boots on, some had on high-top knee-high socks, some had no socks on at all, but they all were there for one purpose, Worship God! Although young, I looked around I wondered what journey they have been on that brings them here. How many of them came from a broken home? How many of them were struggling to find their identity in the midst of a culture that tries to dictate to them who they are? How many of them struggle with addictions of all types and nowhere to turn? How many of them thought of ending their precious life before they walked through the door of the conference because the peer pressure was just too much? How many of them were possibly on their way to a juvenile detention center if God doesn’t intervene? If I looked at their shoes and judged by their condition, I would have been able to figure it out, OR would I???? Possibly not. I know people right now who have 15+ pairs of shoes/boots that if you looked at them you would never know that their journey was filled with drug addiction and time spent in prison. I know people right now who own 10 pairs of shoes that if you looked at them and the one pair they wear daily which is dingy, dirty, soles worn out and shoe strings a mess you would possibly judge them as broke and not able to afford to replace them but what you don’t know is that those very shoes are ones that have made multiple trips to a Children’s hospital nearby and multiple therapies to make sure that their special needs child gets the best care possible and has been their go to for comfort. The mom wearing them what you also may not know had to leave a career/income of 5 years to be able to provide that required continued care. She chose love and sacrifice over material things. Last but not least, how about that young lady that you see coming out of the local Walmart/grocery store who is wearing some worn-out flats/flip flops/even out of style comfort shoes while toting a toddler on her hip and you immediately judge her as not caring about herself at all! Mistake, what you might have just missed is a single parent mommy who is doing everything she can to survive and take care of her little one because someone decided to walk out on her and left her to do it all by herself. Last, let’s go back to that 6-inch red bottom premium patent leather stiletto that I talked about in the beginning. Maybe you look at that scenario and say they must be super rich fancy to be able to afford those shoes their journey must not be bad at all. But what you don’t know is that same person you are judging by their shoes is someone who at some point in their life was so broke that they were living in a one-bedroom apartment, with a Charlie Brown style Christmas tree, feeding their first born on wic and food stamps because they didn’t even know where the money was going to come from. This happening to the point where others would bring cases of formula and sit it on their doorstep at random times. They had a journey all right but now they are reaping the blessings of God in their lives because they sacrificed a lot for the Kingdom. So, no you can’t always tell someone’s story by the shoes that they wear but I can promise you one thing, the shoes will speak louder than words, they will always say Yes, I am on a journey but God is walking it with me and I am still here. You may not understand it, you may not trust it, but He is as the scripture says a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and where He chooses to lead me, I will go. As he showed me this weekend, sometimes He will take you on a journey, take you back where it started, to remind you of just how far you have come and how much more is to come. Have a blessed day friends and make the journey count today! 2 Corinthians 5:7 We walk by faith, not by sight.
How many of us can say that we struggle with blurry vision but refuse to go to the doctor to have our eyes checked?? For me I have always had 20/20 vision but after I had Carston I started having blurred vision. To the point I cannot even read the numbers or letters on the car tag in front of me or the big letters on the billboards. I refused to admit that I needed to go to the eye doctor and get my eyes checked because I was not about to get those things called glasses. Nope, not me. Well last year, 2020, I just about had enough. I was tired of not being able to see, I was tired of having horrible migraines, I was tired of squinting to see the confidence monitor on the back wall at church. TIRED, TIRED, TIRED. I made an eye appointment and allowed the optometrist to do their job which ended with them prescribing me with glasses, Multi-focal to be exact. For a while I was as rebellious as a red headed stepchild and refused to wear them as I just could not grasp that the day had come. But in all my rebellion and complaining when I would wear them, I could see so much better! Recently I started think about how this related to my spiritual focus. It does in a lot of ways. Just like my physical focus, without proper attention my spiritual focus can get extremely blurry. I become worn out, I start having stress headaches, I cry more than normal, I start looking at situations around me and get down right sideways and all twisted up in my thoughts. I question everything during these moments. Every season I have walked through the past 7 year, others, and their motives in certain situations, and even my calling/sole purpose in life. Surely not you Laura?? Yes, me, I know I hide it well sometimes to well. As the song says, Truth be told…. Why does this happen? Because I am looking at life through a clouded lens. Because of pride or whatever you want to call it or better yet the opinions and chatter of others, I refuse to go and take my struggles, my weakness, my blurred vision to the doctor that can help me. I know my struggles would be a lot less, if just like in my physical vision, I would take my spiritual vision to the great physician and allow him to adjust my focus. To put the lens of the word of God upon my gaze so that things could be a lot clearer. Today I am not sure what the lens that you are looking through is revealing to you. It may be revealing to you that a situation you are in is so unbearable that you cannot survive it, it may be a lens allowing you to not have clarity on making that decision that you know you so desperately need to, It may be a lens that is so distorted that it’s telling you that the marriage you are in cannot be restored, that it is dead and you need to accept it. It may be a lens that is so out of focus that you cannot even find the way to find truth the path is just too treacherous. I come today to say that if you will just focus and turn your gaze to the Father, He is waiting to adjust the focus. To speak to you directly and reveal truth to you in every situation that seems foggy or blurred. To give you 20/20 vision to walk this journey out. Do not Lose Hope Friend! Do not Lose Focus! He has got you. Walk by Faith not by Sight. Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him. How many times in life have you heard a song and thought man I could sing that one! You hear it multiple times and know the lyrics by heart however when you try to sing it out loud it just won’t come out… Since I was 8 years old, my mom will tell you I have always wanted to be a singer. Growing up in a little Baptist church in Cleveland Tennessee, when gospel groups would come to the church you would always find me sitting right down front at the edge of the stage. I would watch with amazement dreaming that someday that would be me. I recall the precious times when Leonard Higgins would take me by the hand and stand me up on the altar of the church and with all I had in me whether on key or not I would belt out songs like Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, etc. As I got older, I was able to join the adult choir. With my tambourine in tow mom would take me to the church and drop me off and I would load the big yellow school bus and go singing on the weekends to churches from all over. Basically, growing up if you saw me you saw me with either a tambourine in my hand or a mic in my hand or sometimes both. My only heart’s desire was to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. As I have gotten older my heart’s desire is still the same but I find myself struggling more than ever. Recently I have been working on a worship song that I absolutely love. It is one of those songs that literally takes me into His presence. It makes me want to sit at His feet and worship. I am sure you have one of those, if not I challenge you to get one. That is why this struggle has honestly taken me by surprise. I know 2 amazing powerhouse vocalist that have led the song themselves personally. At my previous church we actually performed the song multiple times. I know the lyrics of the song word for word, I hear the tune, I can hear myself singing it in my head, but when I open up my mouth and release it..It’s not there. So, I find myself asking why can’t I let it out? Is there something wrong with my voice??? Has my confidence level gone down?? Why can’t I release the sound??? You ever heard the song I’m coming back to the heart of worship?? It basically goes “When the music fades/all is stripped away/ and I simply come/Longing just to bring something that’s of worth that will bless your heart/ I’ll bring You more than a song for a song in itself is not what You have required/You search much deeper within through the way things appear/You’re looking into my heart/ I’m coming back to the heart of worship and it’s all about you it’s all about you, Jesus. It is a song that was released in the late 1990’s. It was at a time that Matt Redman’s congregation was struggling to find meaning in its musical outpouring. There was a dynamic missing so his pastor decided to get rid of the sound system and band for a season and they gathered with just the voices. His point was that they had lost their way in worship and the way to get back to the heart would be to strip everything away. To basically challenge them to gain a new perspective that worship is all about Jesus and He commands a response in the depths of our souls no matter what the circumstance and setting. I realized then exactly what has been missing. I need to get back to the true heart of worship. The pure, raw, unfiltered worship. Not the pretty, mascara not running, hair in place, all put together worship or better yet performance. Don’t mistake my words, I still love to worship with all that’s in me but painfully to admit at times life and even people dictated how I worship when truly I should remain in a constant posture of worship because He has done so much for me. You see, the little 8-year-old girl that I mentioned being in the beginning, she was fearless. She wasn’t afraid to let her voice be heard. She didn’t care about the applause. She wasn’t afraid of the stage, the amount of people sitting in the crowd, who she does or does not impress, all she wanted to do was worship. To make a joyful noise unto the Lord. To release the sound. The sound that breaks off chains, the sound that makes demons flee, the sound that shifts atmospheres for miracles to happen…The sound that ushers in revival. I believe to find that “sound” once again I must surrender all my frustrations and insecurities and place myself back sitting at the Father’s feet in pure worship. ISAIAH 41:10 (NIV)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” This weekend was quite humorous in the Perdue household. For those who heard my funny story of what happened in the weeeeee early hours of Sunday morning I guess there was a purpose in it as I am writing this article today and hence the title. My hubby loves to eat snacks in the middle of the night. Whether it is white chocolate bears, starburst, oatmeal cream pies, etc. all of them wakes me from a deep sleep. Once he wakes me it is extremely hard for me to go back to sleep so every little sound after that is heard. Around 12:30am, I was awakened by a loud boom in our bedroom. I said “honey, what was that?” Oh, that was just the bed, but it will be ok we will fix it in the morning” and back to sleep he goes, Me, I am wide awake, can’t get comfortable, so to the couch with my blanket and pillow I go. Tossing and turning I am thinking about what in the world my bed looks like but eventually close my eyes, turn over, and go to sleep. Sunday morning, I get up to get ready for church and head to the bedroom to see what I could regarding the bed. There I find 3 wooden slats laying in the floor, wood splinters, the railing on the side of the bed in the floor, and the mattress cock-eyed and my hubby sound asleep. I thought how in the world did this happen? Did the support weaken? Did the slats shift? I knew this was something that could not be fixed until after church so while getting ready God began to speak with me. He gave me tid bit flashes showing me people cracking under the pressure of life. Showing me that as their foundation is weakening and if not cared for, they will collapse. You see, When I look back over the past few months the bed was giving us some warning signs that something was about to happen, but we ignored them. The mattress was starting to sag in the center, I thought it was just due to age, when you would get up in the morning or would roll over, the bed would squeak. It was not the mattress; it was the support system under the mattress starting to break down. Isn’t this just like life??? Covid or a terminal diagnosis is given, A child becomes sick, the job they have had for so long for financial support is no longer there, the marriage is/has fallen apart, the bill collectors call and instead of answering you put them to voicemail, etc etc. Pressure, Pressure, Pressure! Am I right?? Bear in mind, sometimes just like the bed, the cracking or break down does not happen immediately it is subtle. This is why it is so important that we have a relationship with God and the word of God active in our life. Important that you have a support system of close friends and loved ones around you so that they can keep you from buckling under the pressures of life by praying for you and holding your arms up. I get it you ask if they are fine and they respond with a resounding yes, but are they really? As I learned today, If God places someone on your heart make sure you reach out to them. You may be the very word of encouragement, the text, the call, the very warm embrace, or smile that they needed that keeps them going one more day. You may be the very one that keeps them from BUCKLING UNDER THE PRESSURE! Have a beautiful day!-Laura Knock! Knock! Knock!
Knock Knock Knock! Hello!!! Are you in there??? (cricket, cricket, cricket) How many times in life have you found yourself standing at a door knocking but no one seems to answer? You ring the doorbell, Still no answer? Bang on the window, still no response so what do you do? You just give up and move on to the next business of the day. That is not you, well how about this illustration, Parents, how about a time when your child really wanted something??? You didn’t just say no and they walk off, They probably kept saying Momma, Momma, Momma, and when that don’t work they pitched an all-out temper tantrum till they got your attention or they got what they wanted, Am I right? This morning I felt a tugging of the holy spirit and it was so strong to the point I could not get comfortable enough to go back to sleep. At 7:30am He obviously had something He wanted to speak to me and maybe encourage someone else in the meantime. So, I grabbed my devotional, a fresh cup of my favorite caramel coffee, my bible, and turned on my prayer time playlist. I must admit that I have not been as faithful in my prayer life/devotional time these past few months as I should be. I have found myself stressed out, fatigued, and running on empty, an emotional train wreck going nowhere. Guess that is what happens when we don't make time for the one who is the SOURCE of all we need. I am working on it and this morning with the rain falling outside I am so glad I did. Now, back to knocking on a door and no one answering. You really did not think I was already done, did you??? How can we relate that concept to our prayer life? This morning the topic of my devotional was on "morning". It was talking about the principle that we start our morning by. Some start it by reading social media, checking emails, checking bank balances, etc. Then there are those that start it off by indulging in God's word, Worship, and Prayer time. I, guilty, am one of the first groups of people. The devotional was considerably basic talking about how important it is to start you morning off by turning God's word up like a breakfast bowl and receiving the manna He is ready to supply. It did not stop there. What really got me into my spirit this morning was the scripture reference, Luke 11:1-13. In these passages God is teaching His disciples about Prayer. The order we should pray in and the three aspects of prayer. Content, Persistence, and God’s Faithfulness. When we pray how many of us can admit that our prayers are more like a shopping list vs a conversation with him? It sounds more like God I need this, and this, and this, and this, and well throw this into the mix while you are at but we never stop to thank Him and Praise Him for ALL that He has already done for us??? If we took and flipped the script of our prayers and thanked him first and then made our request known to him what frame of mind would this put us in? For me I believe it would open a more intimate conversation with him. Sometimes I personally feel like the selfish child who just goes to God and says ok give me give me give but fails to show him how grateful for all that He, daddy God, has already given me. How about our persistence? Remember the scenario’s I mentioned in the beginning of the post? What have you been asking and believing God for that just because He has not answered you just stopped asking, just gave up, stopped being persistent in your prayers? When we pray, we expect God to answer right away but what we must learn about Prayer is that God’s provision is daily, not all at once. We cannot store it up and then cut off communication with God just because he does not answer right away. Knock, Knock, Knock, Are you in there??? Are you going to answer me??? Sound familiar???? Yeap, thought so. Get your child-like faith fight back and start asking God for what you need! Be Persistent! We need to stop being so fast food minded when it comes to God’s promises and his word. I want it right now and my way! When we do things this way we end up with a lower quality of things. Had we not been in such a hurry and we waited a little longer the quality of what we would have received would have been so much better! Don’t know why I am putting like this but, Think of it more like a 5 Star Restaurant. You sit at the Lord’s table, You let God know what you need/want, You wait on Him to bring it to you, and when He finally delivers, You sit in a posture of thankfulness for his faithfulness to you and enjoy!!! Have peace with what Jesus promises in his word in Luke 11:9-10 “So I say to you: ASK and it will be given to you, SEEK and you will find, KNOCK, and the door will opened to you. For EVERYONE who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and those who knock the door will be opened. Today If you are fatigued and feel like you cannot go any further in life, ask yourself—how long have I been away from the Source? If the SOURCE is not Lord of your life and you have not ever accepted HIM as your personal Lord and Savior, Ask Him into your heart today. Learn what it means to have an intimate, personal, relationship with the NEED meeter, PEACE sustainer, LIFE giver, WAYmaker, MIRACLE Worker, PROMISE Keeper! If you do not know how to pray the prayer of salvation private message me and I will be more than happy to pray with you. God will never leave you standing at a door knocking with no answer. He will either answer with Yes, No, Not now, or Wait. Boy what a morning to get wrecked by the Holy Spirit. These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of situations that have pushed and pulled on me more than I have been in for a while. I am talking some serious stRRRRRRRRRETching as my pastor would call it. The only thing I have truly known to do is get back to my devotion/prayer time and cry out to God.
This morning I was doing my devotional and I could barely make it through without tears. As a matter of fact, the tears came and are still coming as I type this article to share with you my precious friends. I still cannot wrap around my mind why God uses me to write things like this as I am just a simple girl from the sweet hills of Tennessee. I am no bible scholar, I did not graduate from college, my grammar is not always the best, and I have quiet the southern accent when you really get me going. I in no way feel qualified for some of the things He gives me. Maybe that is the key, He gives me what He wants written. This morning’s devotional was on “He Speaks to Me”. It was talking about the times in life that things have occurred where you missed the opportunities to hear and see God. It referenced Luke 7:44. This scripture talks where a certain woman, who was not invited, entered the Pharisees Simon’s house to meet with God. She did not come to join the party; she came looking for something special. Scripture points out that because of whom this woman was in the town, Simon and the crowd at the party did not see a reason she was there. They thought that she was coming to disturb and cause a scene I am sure. Why? because they were looking at her through physical eyes. They failed to see her with compassion and humility. They failed to see her brokenness, her pain, her need for God. They were haughty and hypocritical. They failed to see that she came looking for something special in that moment. She came looking for forgiveness from her Savior. She wanted to pour the oil from her alabaster box onto the savior’s feet. If you don’t know much about the alabaster box back in those days, the alabaster box was carved, expensive, and very beautiful. When this woman washed Jesus feet, this was a full demonstration of her true faith in Him to forgive her. How many times do we fail to see humanity and look at them as distractions/interruptions because we look at them through our broken lens of compassion and humility? Recognizing that if God had not intervened in our life we could be in a similar situation as those around us. Broken, Addicted, tied up in adulterous affairs, lost without hope. Maybe not having compassion and humility based upon their sins, but how about judging them based on their race, their social identity, their lifestyles.. I am not saying to accept the sin. I am saying that we have to love the sinner, hate the sin and believe for the power of God to change them. In Priscilla Shirer's words, “How different would our relationships and encounters be with others, if by God’s spirit, could heighten our looking and seeing others? How much more fruitful could our personal impacts become on an everyday basis if we elevated our hearing into listening? We would become a choice instrument in the hand of God, prepared for His purposes, propelled by His passion, moved to displays of grace and mercy toward the hurting victims of a lost and dying world.” This hit home so hard for me and was the basis for this today. The pain and ache I felt in my gut immediately was as gut wrenching as when you stump your little toe on the wall in the middle of the night kind of pain. I am admitting firsthand with a huge heart of repentance toward my heavenly father that I am guilty of misjudging people due to the oil in their alabaster box. Guilty of allowing gossip to come into and out of my spirit and affecting me and the person God has called me to be. Something I am so not proud of. Moving forward my ears will not be an trash can for others to dump their toxic mess. God showed me vivid illustrations when he has placed new people in my life that I have rejected all because of listening to others judge them based on their past. This hurt my heart to the point of tears because I can recall on several occasions over the years where this same thing happened to me. I so craved the love/acceptance/and friendships of those around me and because of hypocritical folks I was rejected, talked about, and heartbroken. So badly to the point that I wanted to go into a hole and hide because the rejection hurt that bad. Who was I to act as if God could not change them, forgive them, restore them to His perfected work? He changed me, He changed my husband. In closing, If you are someone reading this that is guilty of this behavior, I ask today that you truly repent and ask the Lord to give you eyes of discernment to detect layers below the surface. To look beyond the oil in someone’s box and respond to folks in a way that will honor Him and bless others. If you are reading this and you are someone who has been affected by my misjudgment, my hypocritical demeanor, I ask for your forgiveness. I ask that you see me as someone who is a human work in progress. I am daily on the Potter’s wheel. To be honest, the oil in my alabaster box is not pretty but God still loved me enough to save me. You truly do not know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box. That is the same grace I plan on extended to others from today forward. Have a beautiful day friends. Long post alert but when an article is given to me, I know I need to share it. What does the word “Lie” Mean?? "Lie" is an intransitive verb meaning "to rest" or "to be at rest."
Last night was just one of those nights. One of those nights where no matter what I did to try and go to sleep peacefully it did not happen. It was not just last night this restlessness has been going on for a week or so. Most of the time I just turn over and lay in bed till I fall asleep however between Carston wide awake and chatty, Brian snacking and snoring it just wasn’t meant to be I guess God knew He wanted to talk to me and how to get me up. So around 1:00am I decided to gather my blanket, an apple, water, and head to the couch. It was there that I just began to talk with God about what I was feeling, He spoke ever so gently back to me, and words to pin on paper began to come to mind. Have you ever been around someone and wondered what they were passionate about? Where their treasure is??? I have here recently and let us just say sometimes the mouth will speak exactly where someone’s heart and treasure is. If you do not listen closely you will miss what their heart is saying and well, the heart will not lie, Most of the time. Oh, you need examples of what I am saying? Here we go…. Have you ever been around someone and all they ever talk about is (their) money, (their) material possessions, (their) accomplishments, what they have done in life? Me, Me, Me, Me, Me! It appears boastful and unfortunately that is exactly what it is. We both know how God feels towards this type of spirit and His word is jammed packed speaking on braggers and being boastful in excess. I am not saying it's not ok to be proud of your accomplishments but when it's in excess that's when it's an issue. A wise person, my mentor to be exact, once told me leave the praising of yourself for others to do on your behalf. If you are going to boast about something boast about all that God has done for you whew what a true and powerful statement. This goes into character and integrity something I will save for another article. This type of person will quickly reveal where their heart and treasure are, it is them. For many years I can say that I was honestly guilty of this unhealthy unchristian like behavior. Before I got married you ask my mom, I had the newest cars no matter the debt it would put me in, Nicest purses and shoes (name brand) , Clothes, My job and the income I had I wasn’t afraid to talk about it and would occasionally pump myself up to being the best there was in the business and could it all better than others!! Boy was I a mess! Deep in my heart at first, I felt I was doing nothing wrong. There were times to others it appeared as prideful and arrogant, but you could not tell me anything. I would get all offended if you brought it to my attention and truthfully, I would think you were just jealous and had a problem but really I was the problem. It took some very hard LIFE lessons to teach me this. This type behavior didn't make me a bad person it just meant I needed to be put back on the potters wheel for some fine tuning. Maybe you are not that type person, How about you are around someone who always talks about his/her spouse, sings their praises, talks about their children, how much they love and cherish them, talks about God, ministry, and their friends, family??? This is someone who reveal that they are passionate about as well but in a positive way. They are passionate about others more than they are themselves. If you get around me and stay long enough you can quickly pick up where my passions and my heart are. My family, my son, church, friends etc. I have learned that you cannot take material possessions to heaven, but you can people… Evaluate today the category that you find yourself falling into above. If you find yourself to fall into the category of the person who is boastful and proud, challenge yourself to humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and get this spirit under control. This spirit will do more damage than good I promise you. It will harm healthy relationships because those that are involved with you will be began to feel the weight of your behavior and feel that they are just another task for you to accomplish versus a passion or desire of yours. Genuinely ask God to reveal the unhealthy behaviors to you and for wisdom and direction to change because if this spirit is not handled you will look back and see that you had all your accomplishments but no one in your life to celebrate them with you. You will have temporal things yes but not eternal things… Maybe you find yourself in the category of the one always giving praise, support, encouragement, continuously shining the light on others accomplishments, their successes, etc and you feel like no one notices you and you are just going through the motions of life and you feel very isolated and very alone. Let me encourage you today the person you are is not to be felt as negative, bad, or a burden. Your passionate heart should not feel like a curse to you. Yes, some may call you overly emotional, that being passionate about your spouse, children, family, God, friends, etc is just crazy and not necessary, that is a lie of the enemy.. I wish we were all a lot more like this. I am saying this because like you I have felt this way on more than one occasion. If we all had a more passionate heart, Divorce rates would be lower, Children would not be out here acting crazy with no discipline or structure, We would not have racial divisions happening at such an alarming rise, religious divisions, Children being raised in foster homes motherless/fatherless, Ministries would thrive more because the members would be more engaged and passionate about serving the house and God. Workplaces would have a lot less turnover; Life would just be more positive… So, in closing let us make it a push this week and months ahead to be more passionate about the pursuit of those things that bring us joy! That can bring us life! If you do not know what those things are, PRAY!!!! If your marriage feels like the love tank is empty, get passionate about your spouse, make them feel desired! Quit constantly nagging at them making them feel like they are something you are not passionate about anymore that they are just another person in your life that is disposable. Put your actions into play vs words. Put your phone down, Put your books down, Put your work aside when you come home, etc If your kids are acting out of control, Play with them a little longer, Take the gameboys/Wii/Nintendo Switches, Computers, Tablets, etc away and take them for a walk, go swimming, shoot a game of basketball, throw a baseball with them, read a book with them, show them you desire to spend time with them that you want them to be a part of your life, your world. We want America to be great again, we must start at home. We must start listening to our hearts, they won’t lie, meaning they will never come to a complete place of rest, until we bring all our desires both healthy and unhealthy to God to reveal those we need to let go or hold on to…there is a saying, Actions speak louder than words — but desires speak loudest! What is speaking for you?? I was reflecting over the past few weeks of how often daily I hear the word Love used in a sentence, a song, or in general conversation between people. Then it hit me, have you ever just sit back and wondered just how powerful the word Love is and when used the impact it can have on others especially concerning the area of our marriages and spouses?
When I think or hear the word Love my mind always go back to the scripture in the bible Corinthians 1:13 that says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. In marriage how often do we find ourselves truly displaying the true characteristics of love?? When was the last time that you can recall during an argument you had an opportunity to be very angry but chose love over being right or let’s say your spouse did something wrong and instead of putting the action in your back pocket to eventually use as ammunition your chose to let it go and not to bring it back up again. I am sure if we were truly honest with ourselves it has been a while because the hustle and bustle of life and honestly technology has made us forget of how to communicate with and love others especially those closest to us. I want to challenge all couples to make this the month of putting the word love to action! Make sure you spend this time and month to truly practicing what Corinthians 1:13 says. What better example than the word of God, the true love story, to mirror our marriages after and be a light to those who have lost hope. Be Blessed!! Ps 147:3 He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. (KJV)
What is a broken spirt? When a person's spirit is broken, they often feel they aren't deserving of joy, or they may have even totally lost all hope or desire for happiness; it's a feeling of total emotional defeat. This article is an attempt to bring hope to someone who is struggling with a broken spirit! It can be trust that has been broken in your marriage, A broken spirit from a past hurt, A miscarriage, A divorce anything that has made you lose hope! When I look back over my life there are some examples that I would like to share with you. The first was when I was 24 years old. I was still a virgin praying and waiting for the man that I would someday marry. However, that did not happen the way I dreamed. It was at this age that my virginity me was taken from me against my will by someone I had friended and trusted. For many years I dealt with shame, guilt, and yes, my spirit was broken. My own mother did not know what had happened to me but had a dream reveal it. It took 4 years for me to tell her the truth. This incident sent me on a downward spiral in relationships. Did I ever receive an apology? No but I had to forgive them and move forward to start healing. Several years later, I would find myself once again with a broken spirit. I finally opened up to dating. It was then I found myself in several very toxic relationships. One guy refused to date/marry me because he said I was to fat. One that I dated refused to date/marry me because he said that I didn’t fit the pedigree that his family desired for him. The last one that I dated was so consumed with dating multiple women and with pornography that I didn’t want to marry or date him any longer so I ended the relationship, finding myself once again with a broken spirit. Was I ever going to be “good enough”? How can I ever trust enough to fall in love with someone? Last but not least, many that know me knows my heart is to serve others, and I would and have always served others with joy, until one day, that joy was ripped from me. I found myself in an office with a lady who served on the staff of the church and the pastor’s wife. It was at that time they began questioning my heart to serve. It was in this room that I was ridiculed and falsely accused of serving what was out of the kindness of my heart with an ulterior motive. I walked out of that room with tears streaming down my face with a broken spirit and lost the desire to ever serve in any capacity again! Did I ever receive an ‘Im sorry” from this first lady or the Pastor? No but my spirit eventually healed but I never truly received from 100% from them again. The trust was gone. I eventually left the ministry because I knew to allow my heart to heal this had to happen. Fast forward to 2019. I can say that in all the “broken spirit” places and seasons of my life, God has shown grace, mercy, and redemption. I am now happily married to my husband, I have a precious baby boy, and I and my husband, both serve in a local ministry where God is moving. Today my prayer for you is that if you are reading this you know that you are not alone in your broken places. There is a God who loves you and His word declares that “He knows the plans HE has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. There is a purpose in the broken places if you’ll just trust God. Your BROKEN SPIRIT will heal! Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly realms (Eph. 6:10-12).
Everyone knows that the institution of marriage is under attack today. The porn industry and homosexual lifestyle is being embraced all around and killing Gods design for marriage and the respect for the institution of marriage. This past weekend, our church had Super Bowl Sunday. Normally, I would wear my orange and white because I am HUGE Vols fan. However this year was different; I wore my Fivestones gear. As I stood on stage, I looked out to the auditorium and saw others were doing the same. We began to sing a song about fighting battles and taking the land. I began to think back to when my son was in Children’s and God showed me something. When we first went to the hospital, I was wearing a nightgown, flip flops, and my hair was in a ball, and no makeup. I looked like death ran over. I had on a garment of heaviness and weakness. The devil was telling me that I was going to lose my son to death. As I sat there in a wheel chair, looking at my baby boy, I began to pray and feel a warrior spirit rise in me from a very deep place. It’s then the Lord spoke to me and said, 'Laura if you want your son to live, you are going to need to get your warfare clothes on. You cannot fight this battle in the garment you are in!" That night, my husband took me home and I did just that; I showered and prepared to do battle. The next day, when I went to the hospital to visit my son, I had my makeup on, my hair fixed, and I walked in with a posture of victory. Maybe today you aren’t declaring warfare over the enemy over a child, but maybe over your marriage. I want to ask you today what garment are you wearing to do warfare. Is it a garment of heaviness, weakness, guilt, shame, or even insecurity? I want to encourage you today; Change out your garment and fight for your marriage from a different posture. Exchange your garment of heaviness for a garment of praise. Exchange your garment of shame and defeat for a garment of victory. In light of God's desire and ability to give us victory in the spiritual warfare in our marriages, prayerfully consider the following questions: 1. What kinds of attacks has the Enemy launched against your marriage in recent days? 2. How did you respond to these attacks? How should you have responded to them? 3. How can you begin to put on the full armor of God this week? Be specific. Why not pray about it right now? Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 'Tis the season to be jolly Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Don we now our gay apparel Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la. Troll the ancient Yule-tide carol Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Oh yes, it is that time of year again! Time for family gatherings, shopping malls to be packed as the sound of Christmas Carols play throughout the stores, Houses decorated in shades of greens, reds, and golds. Christmas is here and what a joyous time it will be. As we prepare for the season, I know that Christmas can be exciting for some and sad for others. It’s the time of year when love is felt and seen everywhere you go. Husbands and wives seem to be get so busy with the hustle and bustle making sure that everything is perfect. Gifts must be bought for the children, Dinners cooked for families, and all the parties you can think of are going on. You would think that Christmas is the best time for marital bliss but somewhere in the back of my mind I sense that for some married couples Christmas is all but exciting. Why you ask? Well because CHRIST is missing in Christmas in the marriage and it is time we put Him back there. Have you ever broken down the word Christmas when it applies to marriage? I sat the other day and thought about what does marriage look like in the word Christmas? Well here is what I came up with, C-Christ, H-Honesty, R-Respect, I-Integrity, S-Sacrifice, T-Time, M-Mercy, A-Accepting, S-Support. I know it may appear and sound silly to you, but if you really took a serious look at your marriage, would you see that there may be one of those areas that you have left out? What if by applying just one missing letter to your marriage daily changed the course of your relationship forever? Wouldn’t that be the greatest gift you could give your spouse at Christmas time? The gift of love?? The gift of Christmas back in your marriage. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to your family from mine! Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
Seasons: We all faced them in life. Some we can recall to be very great and some are the hardest we have ever faced. But I want to zero in on specifically seasons in our marriages. I don’t know about you but there are times I feel like marriage is like winter, cold and everything looks dead that once was blooming, but then I allow the Son, The Holy Spirit, to breathe and shine upon difficult situations and there, just like the first day of spring, the warmth of love and care that I once felt begins to spring forth into life! This year my husband I entered the most difficult season that have ever faced as a married couple. Our baby boy was born April 13th, 2018 at 4:05pm and 6-12 hours after birth, he had a brain hemorrhage and stopped breathing; the next 30 hours after his birth were crazy. There were issues they couldn’t resolve at the hospital that in the end landed us in Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta where we spent 103 days watching every doctor, specialist, and nurse care for our baby. It was during this time that I felt that the season we were in, not facing, because it came out of nowhere would absolutely overtake myself or possibly both of us. The enemy attacked us from every direction he could and is still fighting. I had to end up quitting my career so that I could stay home and be the full-time caretaker for my son. This meant we lost our housing as it was tied to my job. It also meant losing a significant amount of income. This season I have come to realize isn’t permanent, nor is it the end of our story. Although this season has been difficult, my marriage to my best friend is the one thing other than God that has remained consistent. It’s had its moments where the enemy has tried to sneak in and destroy and there have been several tears shed by us both but I just keep reminding myself that weeping in this season may endure for a night, But joy will come in the morning. If you find yourself in a difficult season in your marriage today, I want to challenge you to not leave your partner out. They are there for you to weather the storm if you will lean on them. Remember to always keep them on your boat as you sail through life TOGETHER! What are you believing God to do for you that you can't see happening?
A few years ago when I became a recruiter, my boss at that time taught us that when we really want something, we can't just think about it, we have to literally see it happening everyday. I, at that time, wanted to pay off a significant amount of credit card debt. So I took a picture of a credit card from the internet, hung it up in my cubicle, along with the amount I was determined to see paid off. Every day that I made my calls, I had that picture in front of me challenging me to make that placement. That year I wrote a check and paid that debt off. Why? Because there was something I wanted to see happen and needed to put a picture with the goal to remind me even when I wanted to give up or felt discouraged to keep pressing. That gave me a vision for this article. You see, at the time this article is being written, there is another thing that I want to see happen and in my mind and heart I can see it happening but it was time I began to physically put something in front of me that will make me P.U.S.H (pray until something happens). I want my nursery to be filled with the cries and laughs of our baby boy. Since his birth, I have struggled to go into the nursery because my heart would hurt because he wasn't here and it seemed like an empty place to the point I couldn't even pump in there. But this morning something stirred me and as I sat there God said, "Laura it is time." I Began to cover this nursery as if he is already here. This place will soon be filled. So I took a picture to remind me to stay strong, stay focused, God is working and I have to PUSH. There will be pain before the promise. Today I go back to the question: What are you waiting to happen that God hasn't done yet? Maybe it's to be debt free, have your marriage restored, you're single and desire to be married, you have a sick child you want healed, or you are struggling to conceive and want a child. Whatever it is, I want to encourage you to take a photo of that thing that you have visualized to happen and began to knock on God's door till he moves and answers you. He is waiting on you.... Mark 11:22-24 New International Version (NIV) “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Alarms: A signal (such as a loud noise or flashing light) that warns or alerts; a device that signals.
Many times in life there are alarms and sounds all around us that alert us to react in certain ways. For example, If you hear an alarm clock go off, immediately you respond by either jumping out of the bed and start getting dressed, you push snooze and by yourself five more minutes, or if you are like me sometimes you don’t react at all and you end up oversleeping and miss important deadlines. Maybe it’s not an alarm clock that you can relate to. Maybe it’s an alert/siren during bad weather that alerts us of potentially dangerous conditions and tells us to take shelter until the storm passes over. These are all great alarms and they play important parts in our life but there is an alarm I want to expand on and that is our spiritual alarms. How are we responding when we hear this alarm sound? I gave birth to a baby boy on April 11, 2018. I never really paid much attention to my internal alarm as much as I have since having him and it’s what gave me the foundation for this article. You see, when my child is crying and fussing it’s an alert to me that there is something wrong and he needs me. Sometimes I can’t figure out what is wrong with him to calm him, but I know there is something there and I have to do some trial and error till I find what works. We're in a battle in this world. There are alerts and alarms going off all around us. People are crying out for help and are hurting. We may not see them all; we might even forget they are there. The enemy would love nothing more than to have us, as Christians, battling with discouragement, defeat, bringing fear and stress so that we are so consumed that we don’t respond, but we can’t let him win. God reminds us in His word to stay aware of Satan’s schemes, to live alert in this world, and to stay close to Him. He arms us with the sword, the Word of God, to stand against the enemy’s lies. He equips us with strength, wisdom, and discernment through His own Spirit to stay strong in the spiritual warfare battle. He invites us to spend time in His Presence, through prayer and worship, pressing in to know Him more. It is time to wake up spiritually and start making a sound, a sound that lets the enemy know you are not asleep that you are wide awake and ready to fight. You refuse to stay quiet. Quiet while he attempts to take your family, your children, your finances, and your marriage. Speak to him today and declare that you are a child of God and with Him, YOU CAN’T LOSE! |
AuthorMy Name is Laura Perdue. I am 44 years old and married to my best friend, Brian Perdue and mommy to Carston Perdue. Brian and I reside in Woodstock Ga and serve on the action team of Fivestones Church in Holly Springs. Archives
July 2022
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