2 Corinthians 5:7 We walk by faith, not by sight.
How many of us can say that we struggle with blurry vision but refuse to go to the doctor to have our eyes checked?? For me I have always had 20/20 vision but after I had Carston I started having blurred vision. To the point I cannot even read the numbers or letters on the car tag in front of me or the big letters on the billboards. I refused to admit that I needed to go to the eye doctor and get my eyes checked because I was not about to get those things called glasses. Nope, not me. Well last year, 2020, I just about had enough. I was tired of not being able to see, I was tired of having horrible migraines, I was tired of squinting to see the confidence monitor on the back wall at church. TIRED, TIRED, TIRED. I made an eye appointment and allowed the optometrist to do their job which ended with them prescribing me with glasses, Multi-focal to be exact. For a while I was as rebellious as a red headed stepchild and refused to wear them as I just could not grasp that the day had come. But in all my rebellion and complaining when I would wear them, I could see so much better! Recently I started think about how this related to my spiritual focus. It does in a lot of ways. Just like my physical focus, without proper attention my spiritual focus can get extremely blurry. I become worn out, I start having stress headaches, I cry more than normal, I start looking at situations around me and get down right sideways and all twisted up in my thoughts. I question everything during these moments. Every season I have walked through the past 7 year, others, and their motives in certain situations, and even my calling/sole purpose in life. Surely not you Laura?? Yes, me, I know I hide it well sometimes to well. As the song says, Truth be told…. Why does this happen? Because I am looking at life through a clouded lens. Because of pride or whatever you want to call it or better yet the opinions and chatter of others, I refuse to go and take my struggles, my weakness, my blurred vision to the doctor that can help me. I know my struggles would be a lot less, if just like in my physical vision, I would take my spiritual vision to the great physician and allow him to adjust my focus. To put the lens of the word of God upon my gaze so that things could be a lot clearer. Today I am not sure what the lens that you are looking through is revealing to you. It may be revealing to you that a situation you are in is so unbearable that you cannot survive it, it may be a lens allowing you to not have clarity on making that decision that you know you so desperately need to, It may be a lens that is so distorted that it’s telling you that the marriage you are in cannot be restored, that it is dead and you need to accept it. It may be a lens that is so out of focus that you cannot even find the way to find truth the path is just too treacherous. I come today to say that if you will just focus and turn your gaze to the Father, He is waiting to adjust the focus. To speak to you directly and reveal truth to you in every situation that seems foggy or blurred. To give you 20/20 vision to walk this journey out. Do not Lose Hope Friend! Do not Lose Focus! He has got you. Walk by Faith not by Sight.
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Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him. How many times in life have you heard a song and thought man I could sing that one! You hear it multiple times and know the lyrics by heart however when you try to sing it out loud it just won’t come out… Since I was 8 years old, my mom will tell you I have always wanted to be a singer. Growing up in a little Baptist church in Cleveland Tennessee, when gospel groups would come to the church you would always find me sitting right down front at the edge of the stage. I would watch with amazement dreaming that someday that would be me. I recall the precious times when Leonard Higgins would take me by the hand and stand me up on the altar of the church and with all I had in me whether on key or not I would belt out songs like Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, etc. As I got older, I was able to join the adult choir. With my tambourine in tow mom would take me to the church and drop me off and I would load the big yellow school bus and go singing on the weekends to churches from all over. Basically, growing up if you saw me you saw me with either a tambourine in my hand or a mic in my hand or sometimes both. My only heart’s desire was to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. As I have gotten older my heart’s desire is still the same but I find myself struggling more than ever. Recently I have been working on a worship song that I absolutely love. It is one of those songs that literally takes me into His presence. It makes me want to sit at His feet and worship. I am sure you have one of those, if not I challenge you to get one. That is why this struggle has honestly taken me by surprise. I know 2 amazing powerhouse vocalist that have led the song themselves personally. At my previous church we actually performed the song multiple times. I know the lyrics of the song word for word, I hear the tune, I can hear myself singing it in my head, but when I open up my mouth and release it..It’s not there. So, I find myself asking why can’t I let it out? Is there something wrong with my voice??? Has my confidence level gone down?? Why can’t I release the sound??? You ever heard the song I’m coming back to the heart of worship?? It basically goes “When the music fades/all is stripped away/ and I simply come/Longing just to bring something that’s of worth that will bless your heart/ I’ll bring You more than a song for a song in itself is not what You have required/You search much deeper within through the way things appear/You’re looking into my heart/ I’m coming back to the heart of worship and it’s all about you it’s all about you, Jesus. It is a song that was released in the late 1990’s. It was at a time that Matt Redman’s congregation was struggling to find meaning in its musical outpouring. There was a dynamic missing so his pastor decided to get rid of the sound system and band for a season and they gathered with just the voices. His point was that they had lost their way in worship and the way to get back to the heart would be to strip everything away. To basically challenge them to gain a new perspective that worship is all about Jesus and He commands a response in the depths of our souls no matter what the circumstance and setting. I realized then exactly what has been missing. I need to get back to the true heart of worship. The pure, raw, unfiltered worship. Not the pretty, mascara not running, hair in place, all put together worship or better yet performance. Don’t mistake my words, I still love to worship with all that’s in me but painfully to admit at times life and even people dictated how I worship when truly I should remain in a constant posture of worship because He has done so much for me. You see, the little 8-year-old girl that I mentioned being in the beginning, she was fearless. She wasn’t afraid to let her voice be heard. She didn’t care about the applause. She wasn’t afraid of the stage, the amount of people sitting in the crowd, who she does or does not impress, all she wanted to do was worship. To make a joyful noise unto the Lord. To release the sound. The sound that breaks off chains, the sound that makes demons flee, the sound that shifts atmospheres for miracles to happen…The sound that ushers in revival. I believe to find that “sound” once again I must surrender all my frustrations and insecurities and place myself back sitting at the Father’s feet in pure worship. ISAIAH 41:10 (NIV)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” This weekend was quite humorous in the Perdue household. For those who heard my funny story of what happened in the weeeeee early hours of Sunday morning I guess there was a purpose in it as I am writing this article today and hence the title. My hubby loves to eat snacks in the middle of the night. Whether it is white chocolate bears, starburst, oatmeal cream pies, etc. all of them wakes me from a deep sleep. Once he wakes me it is extremely hard for me to go back to sleep so every little sound after that is heard. Around 12:30am, I was awakened by a loud boom in our bedroom. I said “honey, what was that?” Oh, that was just the bed, but it will be ok we will fix it in the morning” and back to sleep he goes, Me, I am wide awake, can’t get comfortable, so to the couch with my blanket and pillow I go. Tossing and turning I am thinking about what in the world my bed looks like but eventually close my eyes, turn over, and go to sleep. Sunday morning, I get up to get ready for church and head to the bedroom to see what I could regarding the bed. There I find 3 wooden slats laying in the floor, wood splinters, the railing on the side of the bed in the floor, and the mattress cock-eyed and my hubby sound asleep. I thought how in the world did this happen? Did the support weaken? Did the slats shift? I knew this was something that could not be fixed until after church so while getting ready God began to speak with me. He gave me tid bit flashes showing me people cracking under the pressure of life. Showing me that as their foundation is weakening and if not cared for, they will collapse. You see, When I look back over the past few months the bed was giving us some warning signs that something was about to happen, but we ignored them. The mattress was starting to sag in the center, I thought it was just due to age, when you would get up in the morning or would roll over, the bed would squeak. It was not the mattress; it was the support system under the mattress starting to break down. Isn’t this just like life??? Covid or a terminal diagnosis is given, A child becomes sick, the job they have had for so long for financial support is no longer there, the marriage is/has fallen apart, the bill collectors call and instead of answering you put them to voicemail, etc etc. Pressure, Pressure, Pressure! Am I right?? Bear in mind, sometimes just like the bed, the cracking or break down does not happen immediately it is subtle. This is why it is so important that we have a relationship with God and the word of God active in our life. Important that you have a support system of close friends and loved ones around you so that they can keep you from buckling under the pressures of life by praying for you and holding your arms up. I get it you ask if they are fine and they respond with a resounding yes, but are they really? As I learned today, If God places someone on your heart make sure you reach out to them. You may be the very word of encouragement, the text, the call, the very warm embrace, or smile that they needed that keeps them going one more day. You may be the very one that keeps them from BUCKLING UNDER THE PRESSURE! Have a beautiful day!-Laura |
AuthorMy Name is Laura Perdue. I am 44 years old and married to my best friend, Brian Perdue and mommy to Carston Perdue. Brian and I reside in Woodstock Ga and serve on the action team of Fivestones Church in Holly Springs. Archives
July 2022
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