Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him. How many times in life have you heard a song and thought man I could sing that one! You hear it multiple times and know the lyrics by heart however when you try to sing it out loud it just won’t come out… Since I was 8 years old, my mom will tell you I have always wanted to be a singer. Growing up in a little Baptist church in Cleveland Tennessee, when gospel groups would come to the church you would always find me sitting right down front at the edge of the stage. I would watch with amazement dreaming that someday that would be me. I recall the precious times when Leonard Higgins would take me by the hand and stand me up on the altar of the church and with all I had in me whether on key or not I would belt out songs like Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, etc. As I got older, I was able to join the adult choir. With my tambourine in tow mom would take me to the church and drop me off and I would load the big yellow school bus and go singing on the weekends to churches from all over. Basically, growing up if you saw me you saw me with either a tambourine in my hand or a mic in my hand or sometimes both. My only heart’s desire was to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. As I have gotten older my heart’s desire is still the same but I find myself struggling more than ever. Recently I have been working on a worship song that I absolutely love. It is one of those songs that literally takes me into His presence. It makes me want to sit at His feet and worship. I am sure you have one of those, if not I challenge you to get one. That is why this struggle has honestly taken me by surprise. I know 2 amazing powerhouse vocalist that have led the song themselves personally. At my previous church we actually performed the song multiple times. I know the lyrics of the song word for word, I hear the tune, I can hear myself singing it in my head, but when I open up my mouth and release it..It’s not there. So, I find myself asking why can’t I let it out? Is there something wrong with my voice??? Has my confidence level gone down?? Why can’t I release the sound??? You ever heard the song I’m coming back to the heart of worship?? It basically goes “When the music fades/all is stripped away/ and I simply come/Longing just to bring something that’s of worth that will bless your heart/ I’ll bring You more than a song for a song in itself is not what You have required/You search much deeper within through the way things appear/You’re looking into my heart/ I’m coming back to the heart of worship and it’s all about you it’s all about you, Jesus. It is a song that was released in the late 1990’s. It was at a time that Matt Redman’s congregation was struggling to find meaning in its musical outpouring. There was a dynamic missing so his pastor decided to get rid of the sound system and band for a season and they gathered with just the voices. His point was that they had lost their way in worship and the way to get back to the heart would be to strip everything away. To basically challenge them to gain a new perspective that worship is all about Jesus and He commands a response in the depths of our souls no matter what the circumstance and setting. I realized then exactly what has been missing. I need to get back to the true heart of worship. The pure, raw, unfiltered worship. Not the pretty, mascara not running, hair in place, all put together worship or better yet performance. Don’t mistake my words, I still love to worship with all that’s in me but painfully to admit at times life and even people dictated how I worship when truly I should remain in a constant posture of worship because He has done so much for me. You see, the little 8-year-old girl that I mentioned being in the beginning, she was fearless. She wasn’t afraid to let her voice be heard. She didn’t care about the applause. She wasn’t afraid of the stage, the amount of people sitting in the crowd, who she does or does not impress, all she wanted to do was worship. To make a joyful noise unto the Lord. To release the sound. The sound that breaks off chains, the sound that makes demons flee, the sound that shifts atmospheres for miracles to happen…The sound that ushers in revival. I believe to find that “sound” once again I must surrender all my frustrations and insecurities and place myself back sitting at the Father’s feet in pure worship.
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AuthorMy Name is Laura Perdue. I am 44 years old and married to my best friend, Brian Perdue and mommy to Carston Perdue. Brian and I reside in Woodstock Ga and serve on the action team of Fivestones Church in Holly Springs. Archives
July 2022
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