Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Yesterday, actually the past few weeks in general, have been somewhat difficult for me. It all started last week with Carston falling at school. This fall was his third since he has been there. So, the school put him out for a few days so they could collectively come up with a safety plan. This would mean more unscheduled/approved time off for me at work and fear set in. How much longer will my employer continue to work with me? To be quite honest my dependability hasn’t been at the level I would like due to several unforeseen issues with Carston since I started in November. After hitting his head and vomiting continued a trip to the ER was necessary. We discovered that he had a stomach virus. But it didn’t stop at one, he had two episodes back-to-back. The last one ended with 2 bags of fluids being administered and Zofran because he became extremely dehydrated. Finally, as of this Friday he finally got an appetite back. I returned to the office on Wednesday. This is the day I was told that in the next few weeks I would be transitioning into a new role as a marketing representative. I would need to help find my replacement. This once again caused some fear and anxiety. Instead of being excited because it was back in a role I knew and loved I began to think in the back of my mind, is this some way they were planning on getting rid of me. I think this partially stemmed from years of being in management where I would have to sit back and watch it happen to others and not be able to warn those that were in the firing line. Was it fixing to happen to me, and no one was telling me or able to warn me? Trust me it is not a fun place to be. That brings me to Yesterday, Monday, March 21st. Everything just seemed to hit me all at once. I left work to go pick up Carston and I was just full of every emotion you could think of. There are answers to questions that I am needing that I can’t get, I am struggling with trust, and I am just honestly worn out. So, when I came home, I told Brian that I wanted to go for a walk. At first, he wanted to go with me but then he realized that maybe I just needed some time alone with God, my thoughts, and my worship music. So, he offered to keep Carston and let me have that “God” time. I took a walk up to the horse farm that is about a mile or so from our home. As I stood outside the gate the horses began to walk up to me one by one. I stood very still as I didn’t want to scare them off. There was one horse that came up and allowed me to pet him. He would walk away from me but as I moved up the fence a little bit he would come back again. He was so beautiful and tall. As I watched them all in the pasture I began to think of the horses and watch how the gracefully moved about. When they would run off, I paid very close attention to their endurance. It was very captivating. Then I began to think, why am I all the sudden drawn to the horse? This afternoon after a few visits at CHOA and looking back at some of the things that were discussed about Carston’s further treatment plan I felt prompted to investigate the symbolism of a horse. Here is what I discovered. A horse is a symbol of courage, integrity, perseverance, power, independence, freedom, nobleness, endurance, confidence, triumph, heroism, and competition. To some of you this may not mean much but to me it meant everything. I believe with all my heart God allowed me to be drawn to the horse to remind me of some of its attributes I either lack or possess and although I find myself in a struggle right now emotionally and have so many unanswered questions about my new endeavor, I know all I need to do is fully surrender these feelings to my heavenly Father. He in exchange will allow the ones I possess to flourish in Him such as ENDURANCE, COURAGE, AND CONFIDENCE. In closing, this journey called life does get tough and we all battle hard sometimes in silence. However just as the scripture says as I quoted above, Hebrews12:1, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin (or frustrations} that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us (WITH POWER, ENDURANCE, NOBLENESS, CONFIDENCE, A TRIUMPH SPIRIT). Whether it’s a walk, the trot, the canter, a gallop, a run, take on the spirit of the horse and finish strong. Much Love, Laura
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AuthorMy Name is Laura Perdue. I am 44 years old and married to my best friend, Brian Perdue and mommy to Carston Perdue. Brian and I reside in Woodstock Ga and serve on the action team of Fivestones Church in Holly Springs. Archives
July 2022
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